laylayland

2008-05-29T22:25:00.002+08:00

exams finally over but i'm so scared.
i just hope to pass everything and i need that.really.

modelling has never been my dream or fantasy.
it's just a job.in fact a medium to earn allowances to support myself during school days.

i dont understand why i dont get any fucking understanding from my family.
no offense to anyone but why do my parents have to force me to go look for a temp office based job.
the pay i earn for a few days event is enough for a month's pay for most temp office based jobs which basically revolve around typing,answer calls,data entry and boring admin related chores which pays $7 bucks on average.
not like we are thought to manage people and make mega millions.
and from doing events, i can have the remaining time to do stuff that i want.

i dont even do car shows or anything.
all i do are like event lauches,print ad or tv commercial.
all the jobs are so healthy and decent i dont fucking comprehend why my parents can accuse me of stuff like they shouldnt have supported me financially for my SIM studies cos i wanna do all these stuff.i should place my feet on the ground and these sort of 'easy money' is gonna make me turn towards the dark side.dont always think you're very pretty cos you're so short and got no boobs.

joining miss singapore world as a form of challenge to myself is also condemned.i really cant understand at all.miss world is a meaningful glamour quest competition as they take community work the participants do as one of the important factors for judging.i dont expect myself to win anything but it will a good experience before i graduate and start working.they say wearing bikini and walking around is utterly cheap.so everyone is cheaping themselves at the beach all the time.

what the fuck.

if i wanted to turn to the dark side for really fast and easy money,i could have just become a social escort or a whore.
do i need to slog my way through these two years of tough studies and trying to earn some pathetic allowances for myself since i'm not getting any from anybody.
i dont even have the thought of wanting to do modelling as a career.
i know myself.i know i'm not cut out or hot enough to be a model.
i just wanna do some jobs and earn some money for my shopping,driving lessons,get to know some nice babes while working and gain good exposures and build up my confidence.

the more they think they know,they lesser they actually know.

i envy those people with nice supportive parents on whatever they're doing.i guess i just dont have the benefit of that.

it has been so tough running from castings to castings at the most inaccessible industrial places to offices.
with so many models competing for one print ad,i simply get no luck all the time.
so much time,effort and cab fares wasted.
it's a tough market out there.
who truly understands all the things i need to go through by myself.
finding my own to way to far away places,forking out all the expensive cab fares and having no job in return,feeling disappointed over and over again,having no money and allowances,digging money from everywhere to get by from day to day,burn a big hole in my bank account just to ebay for a nice dress, no understanding from family often getting absurd accusations like i dont settle for an office job,i dont do meaningful things and i dont get my driving license at this age(when i'm not sponsored at all),hanging with not-good-enough guy.

but i guess i'm still lucky this month and manage to get two jobs for june.
if you see me working next month looking like a typical-try-hard-to-look-glamorous model or showgirl if you wanna call it making good money,think of how i broke my shoe and the trouble i took to take a bus and then a train(trying hard to save that bit of money) and then a cab for $10 bucks when the journey should have costed me $4 cos the driver took rounds and rounds and i never get to the place i wanted on a rainy day before my exam paper and i had to walk through the warehouses myself and facing interview and trying outfit with competition from nearly 10 hot babes with only 4 chosen and rushing in a cab back home during peak hour which totalled to $20 so that i can reach home earlier to study.
braving through and spending so much time and money with no idea whether i'll be selected.
but i'm really glad i was or in fact very lucky i was.

all the sweat,tears and pain.who understands what sort of determination is required?

2008-03-16T22:44:00.002+08:00

have been relatively sick this week.really wish you are here right now.
really appreciate how you love me and being the most patient living thing alive to me.
i like the way you make my world goes round.
sometimes i dont mean to pressure you on your career cos i know music is your life.but i'm just anxious.crossing my fingers wishing everything can speed up and fall right into place.so that we can embark on our journey towards the life we always dream of sharing.
i know we dont have to prove anything to anyone.but i wish i can just proclaim proudly on how wrong she was about us.

2008-01-12T22:27:00.000+08:00

seriously i havent seen a more fucked up 19 year old undergrad.

she can hack into her own boyfriend's email and friendster and delete all the girls she detests or apparently poses a threat.abuses and deprives him of all forms of normal socialisation or contact with any living thing with vagina or maybe even dick.and then she wants a break up claiming that she cant realise the same dream as him.but she wants to play suicidal on new year's eve and threatens to jump over the block he's staying at if he refuses to spend new year with her after the break off.and obviously her airhead cant comprehend the meaning of break up and she forces him to text me the following 'dont ever call me again you fucking bitch.'

i've never been so fucking fuming mad with a girl before.i wanna use all the fucks i ever used in my entire life on this fucked up bitch.honestly can we practise higher form of humanity in here.like lay off you fucking bitch.go one corner and fuck yourself man.like totally.

and i cant believe you are manipulated by a screwed up bitch placing our friendship of three years at stake.you're taking me for granted.look at yourself.i hope you will be utterly sorry for what you've done to yourself one day.i can barely know you cos it's such a shame to say you've lost yourself.

2008-01-08T23:18:00.000+08:00

i'm having frequent headaches over the fact that exams are drawing near,no longer working,pressure at home and and the ever devastating urge to shop.

things have been gloomy lately.

i'm tired thinking about thinking once again.

misery loves company.it really does.

i thought friends were supposed to go through thick and thin together.despite how unbearable or retarded i may be,he will still stand by me.i sorta expected what's coming from him from the very day i decided to fall in love.but i still aggrieved the possibility of losing a friend who was so close to my heart.

i have bottled up vexation,anguish,forlorness and just mixed feelings that cant be put into words.i feel that i'm trying to undertake something that is beyond me.i hope happier days are not too far ahead.
i've been such a bitch.time has acquainted me with the melancholy truth that life's simply too short to live in the expectations of others.i've learnt the need to be happy above all things.i've gained much and lost much.on this journey towards happiness,i've hurt several people along the way and i'm really deeply apologetic.as i typing this,my heart is filled with dolefulness.i admit that i've been selfish and for no apparent reasons i feel defeated and downcast but i'll not stop my pursuit of happiness.i'm not trying to seek any understanding or forgiveness from anybody.special thanks to ryan and jon for all that they have done in my life if they will ever read this.

its my own design
its my own remorse
so glad that we've almost made it
so sad that they have to fade it

2007-12-13T12:35:00.000+08:00

to all the folks who love and care for me

i would love to make some issues really clear to all just in case anyone i care may be wondering.

first of all,i'm in love.really.

i'm not in a rebound state or anything close.i was in my top condition before meeting him.if i wanted a rebound,i didnt have to wait for him.those closer to me have seen how i've been happily alone and single before i met him.

i've already moved on ever since that day i decided to.the past has not much for me to behold.it is history and just memories.i wish people can see the way i'm in love right now.i wish they can just see what i see in his eyes.the way we hold our hands and embrace each other so tightly,the way we kiss so passionately and the way we just enjoy each other's presence.

i always believed in the fact that simplicity is the most complex thing on earth but ever since i'm with him,i've just learnt to enjoy the simple pleasures i longed for in life.even eating nasi lemak,walking to the esplanade hand in hand and sitting in a chair at haji lane watching the rain can be made so simple,lovely and romantic.i dare ask how many can do that.

i guess d is the one other person who can understand us besides ourselves.she witnessed how we turned from friends to lovers,how we shared those things we love and how we have madly in love written over our faces when we had dinner with her.

i cant be happier.

secondly i believe it doesnt matter whether you've meet a person for two weeks or two years before sharing and opening each other's lives.some people search all their lives to find their ideal partner to realise that their definition of ideal is not really exactly ideal.i guess the amount of things we talked about,dreams and aspirations,interests and likings we've shared in the past two weeks is way above and beyond what some people shared in their whole lifetime.i never ever thought i would be able to walk into a musician's life.but all the common love we have probably explained how we can click and fall for each other.most of all,we believe in just loving with your everything once you've decided to be in love and commit to one another.

i'm god damn serious about every decision i've made.to let go of the past,to disappoint the people who loved me,to choose to let him enter my life but i have no regrets.i mean what every word i've said.even if people will be really cynical about this being a rebound or judgemental about us just lusting for each other,to hell with that you shallow bitches.

it's amazing to have just loved so deeply once in a lifetime even if it's as shortlived as the fireworks.i dont need anything or anyone cos i see the world in his eyes.

2007-12-10T09:31:00.000+08:00

i dont know how this all started and how it progressed to what it is now.i seriously didnt see it coming and i had no idea what came over me.

i just feel that i can neither resist nor defend against him.all it takes was a week.all it takes was to tell me about how he felt for the movie don juan demarco by johnny depp,sing me the theme song of the movie have you really loved a woman on his guitar by bryan adams and tell me how sometimes he's afraid to love again cos he thinks that he's disillusioned about love.

i was swept across my feet just like that.i've never felt this way all my life.

he's the only one with the ability to let me disregard what's going to happen and just fall in love without any expectations or asking for anything in return.yes,i've heard really negative stuff about him and i dont understand why i still choose to trust him.i just wanna love even it means that this happiness is going to be really short lived.i've made the choice of allowing myself to fall.i'll be fully responsible for the choices i made in life and even if i have to suffer my own consequences,i have no regrets.i will never blame anyone for any situation.i just wanna enjoy every beautiful moment i can get.i just wanna keep things simple.

i'm acting so irrational that i'm not sure whether i'm myself anymore.i've always been very cynical about love and skeptical about relationship.i guess this time i just wanna be naive and blinded by love but life's really too short i just dont wanna spend my whole life doing what others expect of me and care about how others feel more than how i feel.

i know i've just moved on from a failed relationship but i honestly cant be bothered about anything else.i dont need anything else or anyone.i'm not trying seek to for any understanding or for anyone to agree with my actions.i just hope that all those who love and respect me will stand by my side to support me whatever my decision may be.

i simply just feel so in love as far as now like i've never been with any guy my whole life.i dont know how many people will ever have the chance to feel the way i'm feeling now but i must say this feeling is so wonderful and surreal.if there's a price to pay for this,i'm willing to take it even if it means a major heartache.i'll be silly just once.

all's still unwritten.i guess only time will tell.

thank you d for being there to listen to all my grumbles and all.thank you for standing by me to support me and show so much understanding towards my situation.

2007-12-03T14:54:00.000+08:00

life's not that bad after all.

fri : pagaent training
pary at chinaone
dear alex moo moo it has been wonderful hanging out with you after not seeing you in years.i hope you really enjoy yourself and everything's gonna work out for you and her.stay happy!hope to see you this fri.chinaone is like the place i wanna be every weekend just to enjoy the drinks,music and friends,just to let my hair down and unhappiness aside.

sat : housewarming at my sister's new place (i love her new place)
teochew porridge and dvd with jon
i'm glad you're finally back after 10 days.it seemed pretty long but i'm glad all's good now!i really appreciate you and every single thing you've done.thank you for being you and my sunshine.

sun : wanton mee and 30 days of night with jon
not exactly a fantastic movie though.

today : meeting jess and mark( my new found chinaone buddies ) for dinner
bikini shopping alone for my pagaent

coming thurs : my yoga and pilates class and dinner with jon
i love my body balance class.i really hope i wont be too tired to go every week.

coming fri : photoshoot for pagaent and meeting d and some other people for chinaone
i'm really so happy that i'm meeting d one on one to chill after such a long time.she's like one of the only girls that i can chill or party with.how would my life be without her!miss ya!cant wait to see you.

coming sat : cook out with jon
yummy pasta and cookies!yeah!
please dont blow up your mum's kitchen.

i feel that i'm like so busy with work,school,gym and all the going out.i dont even have time to study at all.honestly i'm fearful of all the tough subjects i have this year.i must pass every single module.i guess i might just have to quit in feb to concentrate on my studies which also means i'm gonna be totally penniless.sigh.
christmas and new year is just around the corner and it's always one of my favourite times of the year.it just makes you feel i'm-totally-in-holiday-and-buy-lots-of-stuff-and-be-loved kinda mood.but sadly i'm not exactly feeling the festive mood yet.i wanna feel the xmas love and new year excitement pls.
do come and support me at zouk 20 dec for my pagaent.i honestly dont think i'm gonna win but i just hope this will be something different i've done before i graduate.please bring all the whistles,banners,flowers,stuffed toys and whatever for me plssssssssss.so that i will still feel loved after i lose.for more info,you can contact d who is the very honoured president of my fan club.haha.

2007-11-26T09:05:00.000+08:00

i was at the pageant meeting last tues and my partner was actually jeremy but he didnt turn up that day due to some dragon boat event.i can't believe the first and last time i'm seeing him was on front page of the newspaper.i'm really sad to say he was one of the five that passed away in cambodia during the dragon boat event.he was almost a friend of mine.almost.

i'm always turning to this blog when i feel that i cant relate my thoughts to anyone.i'm not expecting any sympathy or anyone to feel for me.all i hope is to have a friend who is never too busy for me.a friend who thinks i deserve that mere few hours.a friend who can spend a few hours talking to me,being a sincere listening ear for me to pour out my heart.i appear to be pretty fine but i still feel torn apart honestly.the rational part of me is telling me to move on while the emotional part is telling me to start all over again.i still weep under my blanket at night cos i dont understand why things are the way they are now and i dont know what i want.
sometimes i'm really tired of asking my friends out.when will it ever be their turn to take the initiative to ask me out instead.everybody's busy with this and that.so am i.i have school,work,studies and gym.but at the very least,i bother to make time and ask them out though i'm freaking tired.it's really not easy to work and study at the same time.
anyway i really really appreciate sean for calling me last night to talk to me despite his exams.thank you.

2007-11-21T11:20:00.000+08:00

Lifehouse-Blind

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried
After all this timeI never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

i feel so torn apart.everything seems a step too late.

2007-11-15T13:07:00.000+08:00

i was surprised that you actually read what's written in the last post.if you chose to come and look for me one week ago to tell me you needed me and can't forget me,i'll be really touched and glad to mend our relationship.but it has been 2 weeks.i'm almost adjusted to the lifestyle of singlehood.the life i lead all by my own without you taking care of me anymore.

i know you've tried to put down your pride when you came for me.but somehow there's this part of me that is feeling it's not exactly enough.undeniably,you're sincere but maybe just not sincere enough.i hope you will understand that things will never ever be the same again as before and i dont want it to be the same as before as well.

i suggested to do that for us to repair the brokeness between us and allow nature to take its own course and have our own space and time to think,enjoy and appreciate each other's presence. i dont want to rush into anything or back into a relationship and to realise more pain in store for us.i'm not cynical.i'm just more cautious now.if it's meant to be,i guess we will be again in time to come and our love will be stronger.sometimes,separation can make us realise the importance of one another and how we used to take one another for granted.but if we realised that we're not meant to be,at least we're still free to choose and do not have to endure the pain of separation once again.we can really learn it's time to move on with smiles and not tears anymore.this is what i see as the best for both you and me.if you're sincere and serious to want me back,i guess you will do what it takes to love me,make me happy and to be by your side again and not force me.i can understand if you think i'm selfish and unfair to you but i can say i'm selfish cos the hurt incurred on me in the past is really tormenting.if you're unwilling to do what i want,you're free to change your mind.i dont wanna force you.i just want everything to be nice,simple and peaceful just like how we were.

honestly the happiest and most romantic of our time together was during the period you were after me before we were really together.i can still vivdly remember the times like valentine's day and having wine together.believe it or not every girl just simply enjoy the moments someone special is after them.

2007-09-19T21:25:00.000+08:00

i can barely remember my own account username.
i dont know you will ever be reading this but i feel it's so hard to love you.i cant deny the times you were nice to me and all but sometimes you just hurt me so badly that i really feel like giving up.how can you be so cruel to me just leaving me to bleed all alone.if you claim that you love me,why do always say you wanna break up and give up our relationship.if that's what you mean by love.i just cant seem to put things right and keep them nice no matter how hard i try.i cant believe how far we've come despite the way you treated me.i'm actually amazed by my own level of tolerance.i've really tried to cherish this relationship for so long despite all the bottled up bitterness and disappointment.honestly i feel i certainly deserve something better and nicer.i feel i'm so short changed.all i want is to be loved and pampered by my partner and not subjected to constant heartaches and brokeness.i dont know why i just choose to give in and forget every single time.i feel so sick and tired of doing so but you never seem to understand what i mean by totally sick and tired.you just take my love for granted literally every time.i think i must be dumb to give in to all these shit.i feel fucked up.you treat me like trash whenever we argue or you're unhappy with me.you dont demonstrate any signs of loving me.you can never give in to me when i'm unhappy or pissed.you must always throw your fucking attitude at me.why are such a stupid mcp?you're so self-centred and selfish.all you care is about your fucking ego,pride and feelings.all these shit are more important than me.i can just be pushed around anyway right.it's your so called pride and feelings so important that you need to give me up.i can just be sacrified so easily.do i even mean anthing

2007-05-20T22:43:00.000+08:00

exams are over.

finally.

i hate my new and so not curly thin hair now.urgh.i swear i dont wanna do japanese perm anymore.i'm going to fix it when i come back from taiwan.i think i'm so ugly now.holy crap.urghhhhhhhh.

happy birthday dennis!
we had korean buffet,went to the shisha lounge at clarke quay,opened a bottle of chivas and danced over night away at one nite stand!i love the bar one nite stand and their amazing live band there.although they didnt really play many mainstream or chart hip hop r&b songs,i really really really enjoyed myself so so so much.the live band vocalists were good and you know we just danced,turned and twisted to our own pleasures anyhow and anywhere all over the place with the music.that's what i call dancing.i wanna go back there soon!if you really just wanna be wild,crazy and embarrassing at the dancefloor,it is the place to go!i say it's better than zouk and mos.

2007-04-17T22:17:00.000+08:00

long time since i blogged about anything happy.i need to get back to mugging quickly.
some pictures from peiling's birthday at holland v cha cha cha.hope she had a great time.love ya!

all the yummy mexican food.

her 20th birthday!

after dinner and ice cream,some of us went on to mt faber(check out couples making out in cars but saw none) and geylang(tried hard to see some 'fish tank' display but saw none.only old china whores.)
sky just got his license so we all went squeezing into his car.
the shadow behind val's head is ray.he is badly squashed with val sitting on his lap.so sweeeet!

linhui and sky having all the space in the world in the front seats.

it was ky's birthday surprise party on sat at hog's breath chjimes.

just in case you still dont know when it's so bloody obvious,ky is d's darling.i missed their kissing shot. d send it to me!

of course only i can give brilliant presents like tmnt balloons to ky.hmmm i bet he loves it to the core.heh heh.

some shots of the naughty naughty little imp at home.

jayden goes to school with his barney bag for two hours but he was the youngest there.moreover the children there run about and hit each other so my sis decided that he is still not old enough for school.(sadly)

jayden with my floating doggie balloon from darling.

jayden's signature superman shot.

whenever i'm at home,he forces me to read the three fairies story book and teddy bear poem to him ten thousand times.

there is this new toshiba mp3 player that looks soooooooo cuteeee.
it's a little white whale called pala-chan(same surname as me).it has a mum called pala-mama and dad called pala-papa and a pink girlfriend called papu-chan.it's only $139 but i still have no idea how i'm going to load the songs myself if i get it.i'm completely helpless on that.so forget it.:(

2007-04-10T20:58:00.000+08:00

i wish life will be kinder to me.
i'm exhausted from making others understand i deserve what i deserve.

2007-03-28T20:12:00.000+08:00

i'll be flying off to taiwan in june with d,my parents and some relatives.
but i need money.
shit loads of money to shop.
why is it so hard to find a single decent job with some decent pay?
i'm so screwed surviving on my bank account and let's not even mention the upcoming exams.
even the teenage mutant ninja turtles cant save me now.

2007-03-22T19:28:00.000+08:00

i really love the movie 300.it's like one of the best movie i've ever watched.
spartan king leonidas played by gerard butler led 300 soldiers to fight against the massive persian army.spartans were born and trained to be warriors.spartans never retreat nor surrender.although they had virtually no hope of defeating,the fearless actions of the noble fighters are really inspiring.it might appear boring to some as it is about war and bloodshed but you're so wrong!it's visually so fascinating and certainly one movie not to be missed!
king leonidas at the verge of death.

yeah this hottie is gerard butler who played king leonidas.

that's the much hated persian king who likes to play god.

but i bet you didn't know he is a brazilian heart throb beneath those golden ding ding dong dong.

2007-03-21T20:24:00.000+08:00

300.

be in awe for i see only bravery.

prepare for glory.

2007-03-13T11:30:00.000+08:00

	Cheer Bear You're the Care Bear cheerleader! Your spunky personality and optimisim lifts everyone's spirit. Though you want everyone to be happy, you stand your ground on issues you feel strongly about and this can bring disunity among your friends. Despite this, you are a true believer in working together.
*Take the Which Care Bear Are You?* Quiz!**

i love carebears.

2007-03-10T01:22:00.000+08:00

i was giving free ice cream at the it show at suntec.catch me tomorrow at the starhub booth.

happy birthday linhui the sweetie!
we had a surprise party for her at val's place but i guess she suspected it very much when she saw janice on the same bus.it's actually a punk-princess party with colour code of black,white,pink and brown.anyway truckloads of pics and i hope she really enjoyed herself.:)

before the arrival of the birthday girl

i like the vintage feel of this photo and i miss d!

i warned you.i'm gonna uphold and spread the love for balloons.

caught by surprise.

a second random surprise by the guys who hid behind the doors.

she's the birthday princess.

yum yum steamboat.

rock on birthday princess.

chocolate fondue!soooooooo yumyum.

stained for life.

and we went really hysterical.

awfully chocolate cake from sky.

it seems like yesterday when we celebrated her birthday.
pic taken a year ago.

happy birthday! with lots of love!

2007-03-05T20:13:00.000+08:00

and the story goes there is a girl who has a bunch of neurotic friends therefore we shouldn't anticipate that she would abide by the standards of normalcy applied to the rest of the sentient world.

she loves balloons.she has something for those helium inflated flying objects.
she must spread her love for balloons to her friends.

she must and she will continue to uphold the love for balloons at all costs.

ps :thank you cy!the pics were taken during sky's birthday last year and i just received it last week.

2007-02-27T23:12:00.001+08:00

i'm seeking something greater than myself.

you cant break my spirit.
it's my dreams you take.

2007-02-27T23:12:00.000+08:00

i'm seeking something greater than myself.

you cant break my spirit.
it's my dreams you take.

2007-02-25T21:18:00.000+08:00

happy new year!

some pictures from new year.

i love the hong paos,the money,the holiday and great food but i hate those tongues wagging among your relatives.bloody irritating.so i rather take a walk by the esplanade or catch a movie like ghost rider which was rather disappointing.protege was better though it was my first chinese movie in years.

anyway we went mass visitation again this year.
first stop was sky's place.

she looks like she was forced into this.

i have four hands.i think i look scary.

this pose is so not me.it was obvious that i was forced into it by daphne.really.

i've learnt mj over the weekend and good enough to play on my own.

this is sky's famous home made pumpkin cake which tasted a bit like carrot cake.

bee hoon and pumpkin cake prepared by sky's mum.much appreciated.

group photo at my place.

we visited several places this year.first stop was at sky's place followed by cy's,daphne's,mine,huikeng and finally valerie's house.we were all exhausted from the travelling but still had fun tho.

honestly i feel out of place being born in singapore or perhaps in my family.
i feel that i can't be accepted fully for who i am or appreciated as layhwee.
yes i admit that i'm vain and i like to dress up or whatever you call that.it's because that is me.i have my own beliefs and i think that presenting myself nicely is a basic respect and courtesy i can have for others and as well as for myself.i love to see myself look good and fresh in the mirror because i'm solely accountable for layhwee.
i just wanna dress the way i dress and look the way i wanna look.i'm seriously not asking for too much here.i don't understand why i can actually be condemned this way.is it because it's not in singapore's culture to dress up too much or my family is too narrow minded?why can't i have the coolest mum and dad alive?why can't those freaking relatives shut their freaking mouths when they themselves look like freaks?why can't i use a giant frying pan and knock on their heads with the resounding thud?
you said that my lashes are too long and you complained that my eye shadow is too dark.
they accused me of having thick makeup when i swear that i only apply loose powder and blusher.
i feel sick and tired of all those shit.
bitches.
i don't give a damn.

2007-02-14T22:40:00.000+08:00

happy valentine's day to all!

i celebrated with darling in advance yesterday at bakers' inn at raffles city shopping centre in hope of avoiding the crowd and queue.the pasta was surprisingly good and you know their cakes are like one of the best locally.i insisted on having choco for v day celebration so we had the best choco fondue at max brenner's choco bar.i can feel all the food right at my throat and will vomit everything out if you shake me.he gave me a small bouquet of flowers today and bought me accessories as presents.

one purple tulip.as you know my fav flower is white tulip,but they don't have white anymore.i'm happy with the small bouquet cos flowers are too overpriced on v day.

alright.you must wondering what i gave to him.
it was something priceless and out of this world.
i gave my heart literally.(sounds too corny)

that's me!busy moulding something!

at last the rice is in place and taking the shape of a heart.

i have to taste it before giving this to darling to make sure it's fit for human consumption.i mean if he suffers from anything later,who is going to foot the bill.

if you still can't tell,it's a heart-shaped sushi with salmon all over it.

that's the leftover salmon sliced by my dear peiling.although the salmon looks kinda disgusting,i really appreciate your effort in helping me!sorry for messing up your house too!thank you peiling! *muacks*

i placed my blood and sweat into this.

darling,you better be grateful after i worked my ass off to make this.(:

anyway,it was just nice to look at but not very edible cos peiling's mum told us that salmon bought off shelf from supermarkets can't be eaten raw.they must be packed in vacuum to be made into sashimi.so darling had only a bit of the rice,seaweed and wasabi.actually i was kinda upset.imagine all the hard work and you can only look and not taste the goodness of it.moreover,i didn't really see that touched expression on his face though he appreciated me very much verbally.maybe he was expecting more practical stuff.

i wanna feel much more appreciated!

2007-02-10T01:03:00.000+08:00

had a class dinner at the glasshouse today cos visha came back from aust for a short holiday.i'm so tempted to go there to study after hearing her stories.sigh.i think i should go there for my graduation trip with peggy since she knows her way around and all the friends there.

visha has nice natural locks.it makes her look good.she was complaining how fat she feels after putting on 6kg and how she don't wanna wear a dress.i feel like killing myself when she was whining about her non-existence fats.

the photos are dark cos they were all taken without flash.this is largely due to fact that i look ghostly and really white in pictures with flash.

cy it's time study hard and stop playing cards and eating long john.i'll tell your dad that you've been clubbing,addicted to playing poker cards and staying over at guys' place.

that two stupid girls are not suppose to appear there.since they looked kinda cute,i'll give them a chance.

visha is on the far left.notice how slim she actually is!

i feel like chopping off sky's hand when i see that rolex flashing before my face.

on the right,it's wen kai.i mean it's totally unexpected for him to turn up for such gatherings but he proved that he is a changed man tonight.if you mention wen kai a couple of years ago,all the girls in class will have the impression that he is the hockey fanatic who never fails to sleep in class and not pass up his work but his gentlemanly gesture tonight tells me that ns can really turn a boy into a man.

that's m yong and newly enlisted adrain.they refused to join in the previous pic but i dont have photoshop to put the two pics together.

our group pic!the only clear picture for the entire night.

anyway i'm having similar rashes as my sister on my arms and a bit on my legs.that partly explains why i'm in a long sleeve top.(i like the top anyway.)i hope i'll be fine before cny.these two days, i had a hard time thinking what to wear cos i'm sad to say that 90% of my stuff will expose my affected arms.

i had my mani and pedi done yesterday cos they're going to charge five bucks more with effect from today till cny.daylight robbery!my determination was weak and i gave in and purchased three pairs of heels.peggy and i had waffles at the esplanade choco bar.(cant recall the full name.it's max something)

i watched ghost tunnel sometime back and it's such a horribly-don't-make-sense movie that you wont wanna watch.total waste of time.
in comparison,the m-18 movie feast was much better.it's probably a cheap flick but i don't know why they have popular stars like ben affleck and so on as producers.the story is just about a few man-eating creatures who attacked this group of people at this bar far from the city and how those chaps try to escape.to make a two hour show with all the scenes in the bar is not easy as it got to be rather entertaining and exciting.

this coming week is the last week of my lectures before entering a long study cum cny break.this break is in preparation for my mock exams starting at the end of this month.i'm so into the cny mood and barely ready or prepared to mug and score.i need some serious help.

2007-02-05T22:26:00.000+08:00

i think that people who dress smartly or nicely to school should feel nowhere near embarrassed or ashamed.what's the world becoming man.people who refuse to comb their hair,brush their teeth and wear a decent piece of thing with no stain to school should find a hole to hide.bleah.

i've been eating a great deal lately.hi-tea,kfc,sushi tei,beancurd and soya milk,duck rice,fish & co and desserts.sigh.

this is freaking good.it's from one of our hi tea places called toast at the 2nd floor of taka (do try their cupcakes if you go there!they close really early so go before 6pm!).i guess the drink is about 600-800ml.i love the peach mango one but this imported drink is costly.it's about $6.50 per bottle but i'm madly in love with it.

everybody knows ah chew desserts.
okay if you don't know,it's opposite bugis junction exit from mos burger side.the stretch of road down the duck rice hawker.
ah chew's mango sago is like my favourite recommended dessert.
being the so hungry girl i am,i had the steamed egg too.
i always believe that a hungry man is an angry man.
but peggy once told me she almost died after eating mix rice,wanton noodles,15 tutus and mochi ice cream.she felt so terrible and for the first time in her life she didn't feel like eating.

smoove.

i mean we all have our feel-fat days,bad-hair days and we were having our feel-ugly-in-pics day.

this makes me a happy girl (not yet a woman).i don't have to care whether the angle i posed my face was breath-taking or whether my hair was in the correct position.

after hearing stories of my dear peggy eating 15 tutus with chocolate flavour,i decided to buy some and taste it for myself.i realised that choco tutus are really good.better than the traditional peanut i always have.enough about food.

i had a bloody hard time trying to take a pic of myself.it's so hard that i can't believe it.i give up.

anyway i went shopping!two tops and two pairs of heels and ermm 10 masks since the sales girl swore that it was good.i still need to get a pair of heels to match my bebe dress for cny.i need my manicure and pedicure too.haven't done it in ages.
i need to look good in fact my best on cny.those relatives are scary.you can't look too thin or too fat.you can't dress too covered or too exposed.in a nutshell,you've to look perfect.

i'm having an econs lecture till 7pm tomorrow and going to help darling's mum to bake cookies and pineapple tarts on wed.i don't have an issue with the cookies but she actually trusts me to bake pineapple tarts!i really don't know how to say no to her.let's cross our fingers and hope everything turns out fineeee.

recent photos of the little imp at home.

2007-01-18T23:04:00.000+08:00

it's 2007 and i hope it's gonna be a kinder year.

i'm tired from all the shit i've been through in 2006 and i'm trying so hard now to prove that i'm worthy of what i'm enjoying.i really need that little encouragement plus a little understanding and little appreciation for my existence.you're strongly advised not to be found stepping on one of those nerves and irritate that shit out of me.lay off bitch.
everything's still under control.

i need to drown in that familiar solitude.

2007-01-16T19:53:00.001+08:00

i really shouldn't be doing this during my test week.
i'm still struggling to clear level 8 online puzzle bobble.

my freaking econs paper today consisted two freaking questions only when i mugged fucking hard for the four chapters.he's really a brainless china man.the first question is 70 marks and the second one is 30.he seriously ought to be shot.

2007-01-15T20:42:00.000+08:00

xmas eve was nice dinner at secret garden with darling and movie night at the museum.
new year's eve was pigging out at peiling's place.

blood diamond is cool but it's not gonna stop me from buying a diamond cos i'm crossing my fingers that diamonds from cartier,tiffany,mondial,piaget etc are all not from conflict zones.wanted to watch pan's labyrinth but it was full over the weekend.i forgot to mention night at the museum and the prestige which i love.many people can't seem to appreciate the prestige but i like it.i find it different.i'm still wondering why royal casino was the best movie of 2006.

i'm finding another job once again.wish me luck.sigh.money!
i got so many things i feel like buying!
urgh like what's new right!
i need a watch!the oversize signature scribble coach watch!
will be heading down to zouk this sat.

i'm having my test week starting from tomorrow.i hate to stay at home cos it sucks totally with all the nagging from my mum.

some pics from sec 3&4 class gathering at this cafe call gone fishing at bukit timah.the response was pretty amazingly overwhelming(as you can see people like me turned up too!)

anyway i just received a sms from bird and she told me this friend of ours back in church days just passed away.he was around my age and diagnosed with leukemia a year ago and recovered but sadly a year ago he suffered a relapse and didn't make it.i'm really taken aback.all the while,i thought saddest things only happen in hongkong dramas i dig.it caught me by surprise and i really feel sad though we were not very close.sigh.

i believe he has gone to a better place.rest in peace.

2006-12-24T00:07:00.000+08:00

school bash was not that bad compared to my recent clubbing outings!maybe it was due to the company of my schoolmates and the best part was that peggy turned up!i was so glad!it seemed like ages since i last had fun with her.i seriously don't know what to say about how paul danced.it was so oh-my-god!many oh-my-god incidents happened but i don't think i should mention it here.anyway i hated the dirty foam which came out during the song where's the love.it was like a highlight but i really dont like it.i was so busy dancing and bitching that i forgot to take pictures.haha.

ps : dearest chinying i really thought you will be able to make it to mos at least once in your lifetime.i was all so excited for you about what to wear and the makeup and stuff.oh well never mind.like what you said,you were one step closer to mos.you will make it there.one day.:)

it's christmas tomorrow.i'm gonna wear my christmas dress,trying to look pretty and have a nice dinner with my boy and all.but where to after that?it's gonna be so fucking crowded everywhere with no available transport by midnight other than those stupid blood sucker cab drivers waiting to go on call!argh!

merry christmas to those who love me and those i love!
sorry for not preparing any presents.i really got no time and money for so many.please forgive me.please.

2006-12-20T21:40:00.000+08:00

school is over! (self proclaimed since i'm skipping fri class especially the much hated stats tutorial) yeah!!!!!!!

i'm heading for the sim bash at mos tomorrow and i certainly hope it's gonna be fun but sadly peggy is backing out.i'm looking forward to christmas cos my boy is bringing me somewhere for a surprise dinner but my camera won't be with me then.shit.and i wanna buy this $75 necklace from metropolitian museum of art yesterday.he refused to let me buy it and literally dragged me out of the place.what a scene.he justified his act as playing his part to stop me from sinning cos he claims that i'll never stop changing my mind on my shopping list.first it was a miu miu coffer then a red lv handbag then a cheap plastic rabbit bag and now a divine crystal necklace.i've gotta get it tomorrow!

anyway last weekend was almost unbearable for me.if you were at vivo city on fri,you probably saw me crying and sniffing all over while on the phone.i can't believe he can be so nasty towards me.i swear i can't take it a second time.it fucking hurts like crazy but it's sunshine after the rain.everything's fine now cos you and i both love.

some pics from val's birthday but no pics for clubbing at mos after that.
happy birthday! (sorry i know it's really late)

the babes

our only two male classmates who turned up

the birthday hottie and her new found sweetheart.:)
ps: i give you guys my blessings!

2006-12-15T16:32:00.000+08:00

i'm sitting in the library waiting for my five o clock fucking irritating stats lesson with a fucking lecturer sitting in class doing nothing like one lump of shit.arghh.

all of my recent clubbing trips have been sooo boring and i don't know why.fri music always suck when i'm there.phuture,mos.i think i'm cursed.i'm going to sim bash next thurs and i really hope it's gonna be good if not i'll be fucking bitter.

new year resolution : visit the gym once a week if possible and hmmmm buy more clothes.i really need that!really.trust me.

i miss my friends.they're either too busy to meet me or i'm not available.it seems like it's gonna draw us apart. there's fear in me.i'm so into my friends in school.

peggy(best fren in school) and i have been eating and shopping like crazy.we're like those high life girls you see in movies like white chicks or hmm material girls.we go shopping in town almost every other day and go for teas at best places with the best cakes like mamarlade pantry for cupcakes and chocolate truffle as big as our heads and not forgetting our favourite sotong and chicken set meals from republic food court at wisma after school.oh and those very horrible fridays where we will eat so much for dinner and go for drinks at alley bar and that's not the end.that time at vivo city where we had our dinner at some fig & olive restaurant and we went on to have ben & jerry.i just came back from holland v with her after having the minced meat noodles,longan beancurd and tea at coffee bean.bloody sinful.we swear that we will stop going for teas like this at least for maybe this month.did i mention the mini mocha cake with choco fudge we had and that bebe dress i bought for nearly 300 bucks?shit.

hate the sin,love the sinner.

2006-12-03T19:09:00.000+08:00

it's not exactly due to lack of events.it's just my modem and stupid chinying who refuses to send me all the pictures.i need to kick some ass.watch out girl.heh heh.
some pictures from ben and jerry!
it was certainly sinful!

happy birthday janice!
we surprised her at her place today with a sinful choco cake and a pretty addidas jacket.it was a hair band theme party if you didnt know.
haha.:(

you miss those days don't you.it seems like forever.
will be back someday with val's birthday pics.

2006-11-02T20:03:00.000+08:00

i didn't miss halloween for anything.it was fun i must say but where's d?):
anyway that's not point.

i've been listening to so many sad stories from folks around me recently.sigh.
happy days will not be too far ahead.i promise.

sathiya is probably mugging like crazy and pulling his hair like he has never pull before cos he's having his a's.a year passes by so bloody fast.i have been there.it sucked.totally.sathiya aka tag team parnter aka piece of fuck,do remember that you said you will disabandon me after a's.i wanna go the 06 pjc post prom party at momo on 30 nov.it's a thurs.damn.i've got fucking econs lecture on fri that i can't afford to miss.how?):

i love miu miu coffer bagggggggggggggg!hon is getting me the miumiu coffer inspired bag soon.yipeeeeeeeeee.

anyway,i was at mos during the halloween party and the guest dj actually played where's the love by black eyed peas.old but cool song.part of the song below.

it just ain't the sameold ways have changed
new days are strange, is world insane?
if love and peace is so strong
why are there pieces of love that don't belong
nations droppin bombs
chemical gasses fillin lungs of little ones
with ongoin sufferin, as the youth die young
so ask yourself, is the lovin really gone
so I can ask myself, really what is going wrong
with this world that we livin in, people keep on givin in
makin wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
not respectin eachother, deny thy brother
a war is goin on but the reason's under cover
the truth is kept secret, and swept under the rug
if you never know truth, then you never know love
where's the love ya'll? (i don't know)
where's the truth ya'll? (i don't know)and where's the love ya'll?

people killin
people dyin
children hurt andwomen cryin
will you practice what you preachand
would you turn the other cheek
father father father, help us
need some guidance from above
these people got me got me questionin
where is the love?(love)
where is the love?(the love)
where is the love?(the love)
where is the love?
where is the love?(love)
where is the love?(the love)
where is the love?(the love)
where is the love?(where is the love the love my love)

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
as I'm getting older, ya'll people gets colder
most of us only care about money makin
selfishness got us followin the wrong direction
wrong information always shown by the media
negative images is the main criteria
infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema..
whatever happened to the values of humanity?
whatever happened to the fairness and equality
instead of spreading love we spreadin animosity
lack of understandin leading us away from unity
that's the reason why sometimes
I'm feelin under
that's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin down
It's no wonder why sometimes
I'm feelin under
gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
now ask yourself

2006-10-30T22:02:00.000+08:00

halloween fever!
the awfully spook-tacular circus at mos!

omg!

screamsssssssssssssssssssssssss

the terrorists are going down.

our gang with some cool roman soldiers.

peggy as the angelic devil and me as missy laylay

we're so hottttttttttt.heh heh.

2006-10-16T12:30:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to meeeeeeeee!
friday the 13th turned out to be at a total nightmare to me.my tution kid decided to stop tution after two lessons so i went shopping at dfs opposite far east.i was looking at some dior necklaces and trying to pull out something when the whole thing smashed onto my finger.it was so painful that i cried on the spot and all the tourists looked at me.we took a cab back to hon's place.i was sitting on his bed moaning over my pain.he came and sat beside me and the bed collapsed!

you might think it's too dramatic but the truth is-it's that dramatic.

forget about the horrifiying thing.
sat at settlers cafe.the food and service sucked but the games were very entertaining.we played bluff,jenga,snorta(animal sound game),heart attack and some pictionary game.

birthday girl 1:happy birthday!we need to fall down to learn how to stand up strong.:)

birthday girl 2 :happy happy birthday to meee!

sorry babes but it's for viewing pleasures.inspired by the animal game.

keeping sharp for the animal game.

sun was afternoon tea with d,buffet and the whole night with hon.

a super lovely vintage dress from the super lovely d.it has officially been promoted to my favourite dress.thank you d!*muacks*

all the balloons hon prepared for me(so touched) but too bad he cant find the walking dog balloon.i love balloons especially those floating ones.

thank you for all your time,effort and money.more than anything i can ask for,you've been amazing.:)
anyway hon got me a guess bag,my favourite ralph scent and a dior necklace(yet to receive but promised)

i may not be the smartest,richest or prettiest but i've been the happiest.
thank you to those who made all these possible.much appreciated.:):):)

2006-10-11T21:44:00.000+08:00

i have time for everything but blogging.i've so much sociology and econs homework.i'm so blur during stats lesson and i'm so hard up slogging for money.i'm so running out of clothes to wear to school.
but the gang in school makes school fun.we are the only bunch of people who will go to the students' lounge rain or shine to play table soccer and pool.i'm damn good at table soccer now.
we have outings to movies like the host and stay alive and clubbing outing to zouk last fri.an upcoming bbq after our bloody disgusting test week.i dont know where my camera went.will be back with more pics hopefully.
heh heh my birthday is comingggggg.better buy me presentsssssssssssssss.:)
i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee presentssssssssssssssssssssssss!

hey i found some random pics taken with the (half of the)gang in school.

from the left: peggy,valerie,perlin and meeeeeeeeeee.
girls power.the guys in our gang are pussys.they don't like to take pics.

perlin and me! zouking on fri.

2006-08-27T23:09:00.000+08:00

school is not bad so far.:)
just running out of clothes to wear to school.

if you still have that little desire to dress up and look chic,please don't forget to catch the devil wears prada.it's the sort of movie you can predict the ending but the clothes,shoes and bags are enough to make your jaw drop and go wow wow wow(that's exactly what i did). 3.5/5

ghost game is good too.it keeps you on your toes throughout the show.apparently the movie is about a bunch of people taking part in this reality show called ghost game where they have to stay on this haunted island and play stupid scary games.the last person to give up will win 5million baht which is actually kinda little.the island is known as case 17 where many thais were killed and brutally tortured by a high comrade and his soldiers.it's really creepy and spooky.4/5

d's birthday celebration at marina square.

it was celebrated at the jap restaurant i was at last time round.initially i booked a table for eight at new york new york but they said that no reservation allowed but they will try their best to keep it for me till 6.30pm.i was there at 6.30pm and i almost fainted when i saw the 40-50 people queue.they friggin don't allow us to take the table unless 6 out of 8 people are present in 5 minutes even if i order food.so i totally gave up.

seriously the service standard in singapore is relatively low compared to many countries.i don't understand why the govt still claims that we're at international standard.bullshit.

met up with sky for dinner and realised that so many people actually fell out with one another.tragedy.heard the unexpected at wala.the female vocal is strong and the band is kinda entertaining.

2006-08-18T00:42:00.000+08:00

after a very very fulfilling dinner at kushin bo,hon and i decided to take a walk at the esplanade and to my very surprise i saw somebody so familiar at the esplanade concourse performing...

all you pjc people,can you recognise him?
it's mr barry woolhead.the nice big guy who always tell us cold jokes and let us watch movies.
our gp tutor!:)
i was rather shocked to see him performing there with his friends cos i thought he left the country but apparently he didn't.i wonder what school is he teaching in right now.
anyway their performance was cool and very well received by many people considering that it's a thurs.so if you wanna catch him,do go down to the esplanade next thurs from about seven to eight plus.
man don't you miss those times you sit in the canteen and try very hard to pretend to study.

remember those bears i mentioned i've been collecting from the $1 spinning machine.
ta-da!

i'm proud to present my beary lovely indeed bears to you.the family is happily seated on my bed frame currently.
but bad things happen to good people.
the mama shop with that spinning machine closed down.goodness gracious.i hope the next mama shop that comes along will have it.

i'm employed with effect from 1 sep.
yes finally after nearly 3 months.
i'm the part time secretary for hair montage.this salon is open by my friends(twin brothers) since sec school.it's located at international plaza next to tanjong pagar mrt station on the 49th storey.i have to be there on sat and sun from about 11am to 3pm.it's a one stop make over salon from head to toe so it includes things like make up and manicure.do drop by when you're free.we're officially open on 1 sep.

my school is starting today as in 18aug 2pm!:(
no more late nights,afternoon naps,jayden(my nephew),non-stop going out with hon.
this also equates to homework,less fun,less time and less sleep for three longg years to come.boohoo.:(

check this out before you go.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

2006-08-17T03:06:00.000+08:00

happy birthday honey!
i just came back from celebration at his place.i'm so tired.
we're going to have dinner at kushin bo later as in 5.30pm 17 aug.yummy.can't wait.
by the way,this japanese restaurant at marina square called azasau sabo(something like that) is highly recommended.many authentic japanese will go there for dinner dressed in their traditional costumes.there is usually a queue during weekend.be there early!the bento is nice and not forgetting their greentea and red bean desserts.

and finally i met up with d.sort of met up.
i was at the ntu pageant she took part in.there were 8 contestants(all female) and it was held at garden asia(somewhere very deserted near sungei buloh and kranji).

though she didn't win,i crowned her the queen with the cute little tiara and flower i bought for her.her tiara is seriously much better than the winner's pathetic good-for-nothing white flower halo.

her ever faithful supporters.

her orientation group.

her family.i guess they really miss her ever since she moved to the hostel.

more pics from my nephew's one year old birthday a month back.

i've grown so especially attached to him ever since i've been taking care of him these three months.

2006-08-16T02:51:00.000+08:00

movie affair

lakehouse was like what i expected.not extremely good and i still think the original korean one is better.much more touching and romantic.the fact that it has sandra bullock and keanu reeves,i'll give it a 3/5.

click was rather entertaining.it is a family comedy.it's that kinda movie which you can predict the ending but it's still worth watching.kate beckinsale is hot.probably a 3/5 or 3.5/5.

an american haunting is based on a true account that happened in the states centuries ago.an unexpected twist in the ending.3/5.

my super ex-girlfriend is seriously mindless but funny.i think it's really creative to put a super hero into a romantic comedy.uma thurman is a super hero known as g-girl with similar powers to superman.her boyfriend can't stand her and so he broke up with her.she is unwilling to give up and even threw a shark at him...very entertaining.3.5/5

2006-08-10T16:22:00.000+08:00

i'm experiencing this pain at my right jaw whenever i exert force but i'm perfectly fine when i don't open my mouth or when i'm talking.it has been there for days.i'm really puzzled.is it due to growth of wisdom tooth?or some inflammation?i think i'm going to doc tonight.:(

i gave hon his birthday present on tues.i know i'm too anxious but i just can't help it.i've got the present packed in this little bag(i sew it myself!!) carried by a teddy bear and the nice colourful card all ready.i just can't wait to show off the effort i've placed into it.my initial present in mind was a ferragamo belt.it was so perfect till reality confronted me.it was not the right thing to buy presently with my humble bank account.so i bought another branded belt at about half of the price of that ferragamo.

i found 3 bottles of scotch whisky and 3 bottles of wine that nobody touches at home.(my dad only likes the xo and martel)so i think i can make d drunk on her birthday with those alcohol.heh.what a friend i am!

2006-08-07T00:30:00.000+08:00

sometimes it's really feels good to be in love.you know that there is this someone you can really lean and rely on even if the whole world turn their backs against you.he sort of becomes the pillar of your strength.

i must be a hopelessly-brainless little woman in love!but that is really exactly how i feel now that i'm in love even after so many months.it's like you're on cloud nine.it's like come-what-may-i-will-love-you-till-my-dying-day kinda feeling.it's like all-you-need-is-love-diamonds-are-no-longer-your-best-friend.each relationship is just too special to be explained or examined.though i'm not sure what the future may hold for me,i'm still very thankful for all that i'm having and embracing at this moment.sometimes it feels too hard to be level-headed when you're feeling so wonderful.i'm trying not to take it for granted.trying very hard.

thank you hon.you've been too good to be true.taking care of me and all,making me feel a little woman.massaging for me even when i'm not tired,feeding me all the food and junkies i want,getting me all stuff i need,bringing me to all the movies i wanna watch,piggybacking me to all the places i wanna go,listening to me all the time,spending all those unnecessary dollars on spinning bears for me,cabbing me here and there,tolerating my harmless tantrums,washing all your bedsheets and blankets for me,doing all my shopping with me,losing your sleep for me,rubbing my painful neck and even scratching my leg for me.

thank you.life can never be better without you and i love you.

ps: since you're still gonna stick with me,this also means you have more massaging,more piggybacking,more shopping,more feeding,more cabbing,more spending,more spinning of bears,more tolerating,more sleepless nights,more washing of blankets and scratching to do!hee.love you.

2006-08-05T23:32:00.000+08:00

there was a last minute change in the gang's steamboat plan so hon and i went to marina on our own(secretly in hope of some kite flying again).it was drizzling and never mind cos we still had our bbq/steamboat.

to be honest,it was my first time having steamboat at marina cos my mum is sort of a cleanliness freak and she claims that the food there are all very dirty which i have to agree after seeing the party the flies were having that day.
but i was quite okay with it since you have to cook the food in steaming boat which means all kinds of germs should somehow or rather die.
i love mussels,cockles and shell like shit.i took one mountain of them but hon refuses to eat in fear of getting hep b and he started telling how incurable it was.so i gave up.totally.

i love to bbq all the stuff (as usually) esp the spicy chicken,prawns and crabs.yumyum.bad things happen to good people.the hot oil made its way onto my hand and it left a three-dot scar mark on my hand till today.that was seriously freaking irritating cos it was itching like mad for more than a day initially.i smelled like bbq layhwee at end of the day.things didn't seem that bad till i woke up the next morning and realised that

the pores on my cheek(very near to my nose) became really open and unrefined.i swear this is true.i had red and dry patches on my cheek on which there are open and unrefine pores.i spent another thirty odd bucks on good facial foam.thank goodness it worked and cleansed my face really well.*stomps feet*yes sounds bimbotic but i'm telling you folks,it's a nightmare to have open pores with red and dry patches.honey promised not to bring me there for steamboating.

once upon a time,there was this girl called d.she chose to be a busy camper and camped more than two weeks.she was almost completely cut off with the world and she forgot about her little faithful friend who is waiting to have dinner with her.so one day her little faithful friend sent her a sms and told her to meet her for dinner this weekend.d's reply was i'm joining the hall pageant so i'll be busy.*vomit blood*
d if you're ever ever free to read this,you got to ask your little friend out.don't let ntu activities and new friends take your little friend away.she misses you.

you're going to scream and hate me when you hear this.i have like seven new dresses and one new top in my wardrobe.thanks to online shopping with my sisters.i only have a pathetic three door wardrobe(only two doors for clothes) which is hardly enough to accomodate my clothes.i wanna hang them one by one nicely not like seven tops on one hanger.(which is basically what i'm doing now).i'm forever telling all my friends that i wanna have a walk in wardrobe.i can't wait for my sis to migrate to aust and i'm going to convert her room in a walk in wardrobe.muahaha.

i'm totally in love with this spinning/vending toys machine near hon's place.you know those machine that we put in one dollar and spin smalls toys contained in plastic eggs when we were six years old.that particular machine has palm size teddy bears.they're so lovely and the excitement comes very much from the unexpected outcome of the spin.it's not everytime that you can get a bear cos most of the eggs in the machine contain some ugly looking dinosaur.i have five so far sitting on my bed frame.i wanna collect all the 8 eight colours and all the bears in the machine and we are gonna make a bear house for them.:)

i don't have my camera with me these days.will be back with more pics next time.

2006-07-21T00:59:00.000+08:00

okay in case you still do not know,i'm heading to uol(university of london) in sim this aug.not literally london.i'll be surviving mostly on my own from food to transport to shopping which means no more shopping and shoe sprees.this also means that i need money.

yes.money.lots of them.really.

if you have any well-paid part time jobs,pleaseeeeeeeeee let me know.(urgent)
drop me a mail at chanlayhwee@hotmail.com.

i'm even thinking of setting up a site or blog to sell away some of my clothes.
okay let me tell you,my wardrobe is gonna give way anytime soon cos almost 30%-40% of my clothings are brand new and i don't intend to wear them anymore.i just wanna sell them away,clear my stuff a bit and earn some badly needed cash.if that site is up,pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee show some much appreciated support by letting your friends know.thank you.

i finished watching honey on hbo fifteen minutes ago.typical kinda plot but really nice dance steps and moves.

and honestly i've been doing some real online shopping with my sisters.
nice clothings at cheap prices but currently still waiting for confirmation mail and all.
i know i shouldn't be shopping.

2006-07-19T22:51:00.000+08:00

oops he did it again.

everybody loves jack sparrow.

personally i prefer the second part of the pirates.more fun more jack.
somehow many find the first one better.
anyway i didn't like the idea of waiting for the third one.sigh.

2006-07-13T12:07:00.000+08:00

i've nothing much to say about the fifa european cup since my favourite brazil team was long out and gone.i was screaming over the phone with honey while watching the match.

i haven't been taking pictures recently.

never mind.let's play a game.

who is this cute choco coloured baby with a bear suit?
clue : he is now tall,strong and hmm doing tutorials.

da-ta!
yes that picture above is sathiya raja.
my tag team partner.:)

my nephew's one year old birthday.he is like a carbon copy of my bro-in-law.

2006-06-29T12:06:00.000+08:00

i forgot when was the last time i blogged.basically i have been a full time baby sitter for my nephew and part time bummer cum shopper for the past month.
list of places i went :
town
town
town
more town
woodlands
crazy horse bar for soccer
mos vip bar for more soccer
sal's party at dxo
my long time sch mate's ocs wing d&d at the legends fort canning(i was the make-shift partner)
truckload of bedsheets from aussino
all the labels in paragon
i can't really recall

places i'm going soon:
song's fancy dress party at raffles town club
nephew's one year old birthday celebration at some hotel in town(again!)
sim
tution
omni theater to watch superman

i've watched most of the movies i want to this period.
read : silent hill is lousy.watch at your own risk.
scary movie 4 is good.damn funny.d and i laughed till we cried.
i like their version of saw and juon.
the juon is really cuteeee.
note:how juon communicated with the girl in jap.they actually spoke in the names of japanese brands and food not real jap.

i caught bridget jones' diary (the 2nd one) on hbo recently.i think it's really good.it's funny and witty yet touching and romantic.i like the twist in the ending too.

there is this new romantic movie by keanu reeves and sandra bullock coming up i guess(forgot the title).it's actually from this korean movie called il mare(something like that cos quite a few years ago so i forgot).it's about this mailbox that allow the two person to communicate through time barrier.i seldom find romance movie touching but i think the korean version was really touching.i recommend the korean version one cos somehow i think keanu reeves and sandra bullock can't bring out that feeling compared to the two koreans.

the next few movies i'm gonna catch :
boo
frostbite
stay alive
i realised i've been catching mostly action or sick movies but i like it.

my new love.

ricardo kaka.
no.8 from the brazilian team.

i can't believe he did this to me.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
oh well damn he's married to his childhood sweetheart who is probably as old as me.

2006-06-08T00:11:00.000+08:00

i'm out of job.
take time out to rest.
i was down with terrible fever and sore throat.:(

i'll be back in action this weekend.

2006-05-29T20:39:00.000+08:00

i was at loof on fri with the same gang but it was too crowded so we went to butterfactory.it was seriously quite nice.worth going.had this z cocktail and a lot of sex on the beach shots.i'll go there again soon.

sat was out with the same gang at the attica's anniversary carnival.dancers and drummers.quite a lot of hot people around and music was cool but not my cup of tea.the crowd too old and not really fun.yipee.i didn't bring camera so no photos.sorry.

let's talk about work now.
yes the most hated and infamous work.

i seriously hate this picture.i looked pathetic and ugly as if my hair was being cut but in fact it's not.

beneath that facade,lies a miserable and badly work tormented soul.sigh.

in case you were wondering what are those weird coloured stuff,they are m&ms.

i have a few new adores recently.i know this is sounding like a typical bimbotic blog that showcases the new buys and shit but i don't care.heh.

my long awaited zouk privilege card.muahaha.

my wine red nails.

all time favourite gucci handbag.

my new vintage necklace from aussie label antipodean.

2006-05-25T10:07:00.000+08:00

today is thurs.
eve of fri.
yipeeeeeee.

work is crap.i cant wait for my pay to come.

da vinci code ain't that appealing.the movies makes the theory very absurd.
anyway what matters is what you believe in.

alright.i'm sick of bringing this topic up again but i'll have to for one last time.
i can't stand it when guys check other girls out when they're with their girl friends or wives.
it's disgustingly horrible.it's a basic form of respect to give to a lady let alone your spouse.
ought to be shot.
don't try to be a smart ass and think that your girl didn't notice what you were up to.

2006-05-22T13:23:00.000+08:00
friday was kinda happening and fun.
very directionless andre and quite directionless layhwee spent one whole hour driving from king's centre to bugis.
met up with d.had dinner and visited costume shops at arab street.i love the snow white outfit but not very hot.
proceeded to cafe iguana.had problems with all the names.had really nice strawberry magarita but it was too packed so we drove to villa bali.
really cool.had white wine.played stupid cowboy games.talk cock.had more problems with more names.
all of them were from acsi and acjc.
really fun and cute people.

please join andre and me in psychoing yanxun to sell away wallet shop and buy over zouk then we can party all night long.

2006-05-19T09:40:00.000+08:00
i loved my life but life gave me away.
why did all these happen to me?

why must i weigh 85kg?

why is my dog being ran over by my own car?

why did i get fired five times in six months?

why me?

okay.all bullshit.
i got no car.no more dog(used to have one).no 85kg.
but i'm still kinda bitter actually.

why am i so broke?why can't i get that vintage dress?why money don't drop from the sky?sigh.
the desire to shop is kicking in.*screams*

and so now everything is my fault.my bad bad bad bad bad.
i don't understand you,your job and why need to sit and rest so much.
fine.

2006-05-18T10:14:00.000+08:00
i'm suffering from some serious brain damage.
i can no longer tell the difference between noodles and rice.
i can no longer feel the vibes of seeing a hunk or a babe.
i've lost my ability to dress nicely and talk nicely.
everything i say is not making sense.like literally.
i'm so broke.
i'm left with two bucks in my wallet cos i refuse to draw money.
it's the battle between the stomach and the wallet.
all i do is face the com and type in data like a robot eight hours a day,five times a week.
i feel like a bimbo.
there's no way i can fuction and use my brain effectively.
i should just kill myself.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

2006-05-17T10:06:00.000+08:00
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a SCREAMER or a MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.
5. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
6. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED
7. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED
8. She does not NAG you - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
9. She is not a TRAMP - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED
10. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PICTORIALLYSUPERIOR

nice fragance

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

2006-05-16T10:30:00.000+08:00
church should be a group of people getting together as a body of christ to worship,praise,love and to get to know more about God.why do i feel that it has become some sort of carefully organized and planned institution filled with a bunch of superficial socialites in the midst of them?(i'm not referring to everyone)

during my past four years in church,i've gotten all sorts of shit before.from attire to behaviour to studies.yes it's starting to sound ridiculously scary.
those myth you've heard about waking up at 4am or 5am every sun so as to report on time is true.remember back in those days in the indoor stadium during special events,i'll barely have 5 hours of sleep during the whole weekend(fri-sun).despite all these facts,i've no qualm in devoting my time and even finances to God.

however i fucking can't tolerate some so-called ICs who throw their weight and act like some big shots.to hell with it man.they just fucking raise their voices and scream at ushers who are slower and all.who do you think you are?you think the fucking section or team IC tag hanging around your neck means you're really given the sword of authority to slay people?stupid assholes.don't even show any apparent sense of remorse or respect for others.how do you expect people to respect you when you don't even do the same?leaders are supposed to be role models not exhale air enough to blow a cow away.i seriously don't understand why so many people are dying to be ICs.is it for the power or for the glory?some of them just get away with unresonable scolding and bitchy behaviour.i can't understand why.

that's not all.i get personal counselling sessions for things such as taking a no-physical-contact picture with my cell group member(guy),wearing fancy earrings,too trendy and cutting edge clothes,staying over at church girls' place,going out with male friends alone,unwilling to go down to support our pastor's launch of her music album(i don't dislike her but i'm just not into her kind of music),not saying hi to cell group leaders that i know.are we living in stone age or something?my mum don't even give a damn about all these shit.so what makes you think you're greater than my parents who brought me up for the past two decades?i can't talk back,i can't reason out,i got no way i can clear my name because those so called cell group leaders over me will label me as 'problematic','not teachable' and 'got attitude problem'.exact words.nothing more,nothing less.all these happened when i was under the church zone supervisor edmund tay.i didn't fabricate any of those above.please respect some privacy and human rights in here.

i've been backstabbed by cell group leaders i barely know claiming that i like to play with others' feelings in front of their younger cell group members.bullshit.how can you denounce my integrity like that when you don't even know me personally?you ought to be shot.liars and slanderers.shame on you davin samuel!fancy gossiping behind my back.you ain't any better.you think the church is a military camp and you scold jon every week and he left cos he can't handle the fact that he has to be scolded every sun.pot calling the kettle black.i've remained my cool for years.kept low and laid back.not anymore.

how about those jerks and bitches who played with others' feelings?why do they always get away with it?what are the so called leaders doing?they got so much time for the nitty gritty shit,why they don't have time for all those wicked heartbreakers?

why are the supposedly kindest christians(some of them) are those culprits who go around gossiping and hurting others?why can't they just observe some really basic courtesy and respect for the lifestyle and privacy of others?even God has given us the sovereign 'choice',what makes you think you are greater smartass?stop going round to place labels and condemn others because the way they dress,eat,talk,act,go is different from yours.you're not allowed to be judgemental to begin with.the church will honestly be a better place of less complexity.

of course there are really nice people in church as well.my very nice ex cell group E389.they are all nice,unpretentious and harmless.thank you.not forgetting my buddies mj,bird and pinky who pulled me along during those tough times.thank you for being you.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

2006-05-15T22:18:00.000+08:00

the colourful bridge behind my work place

i told you she always torture me.

mocktail,red wine and chicken pasta at hooters.yum yum.

happily celebrating moove media's one year old birthday

she forced me into taking this picture.even he knows how dangerous sexual harassment can get.hehheh.

in case you were wondering,i'm not alone.stupid huiying is in the picture but kinda not very visible.heh.

you can't resist stroking and caressing his head.

2006-05-14T15:21:00.000+08:00
i have a lot of pictures but i'm really too lazy to upload them.
backtrack a little.

went jalan jalan and hooters with d last last fri after workmet up with sky(finally book out),sal,steph and d at tcc on sat.
when a stranger calls isn't as nice as it sounds.

went to zouk on vesak day.damn packed cos andrew chow and nervous were spinning hip hop and r&b in the main room.1/3 of the people trying to dance.another 1/3 moving around.remaining 1/3 of the people are kindly excusing the former.sal,liyun and bf,sky,phyllis,d and myself were there.

a gazillion thanks to kenneth and roy who came to join me after that.i'm sorry for the two stamps on your hand.apparently according to insider's report(kenneth),mos was kinda empty strangely enough.i'm still for zouk.yeah.

to kenneth : thanks for you 1.5l of mineral water,green tea,ride home and personal bodyguard services.highly appreciated.i think you think i've grown over the few months right.

to roy : stop acting so gay with kenneth.totally wrong.you're not allowed to tell others where i stay.

will be back with more pics.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

i like the wicked sense of humor.

2006-05-08T09:49:00.000+08:00
i miss my boy.
i hate work.
i need to stop shopping and spending seriously.

yes,we all know those moments of distress and heartaches.those moments when you thought you've tasted the sweetest candies ever and then he put his fingers into your throat and force you to spit them out.we all know how this game works.

2006-05-05T12:13:00.000+08:00
the songs we love
1)so sick
2)beep
3)bump bump bump
4)stick with you
5)thong
6)pump it
7)my humps
8)don't lie
9)yeah
10)caught up
11)don't cha
12)nasty girl
13)i don't wanna know
14)seven days
15)superstar
16)my boo
18)bananza(belly dancer)
19)hips don't lie
20)crazy in love
21)baby boy
22)numb(encore)
23)milkshake
24)tempted to touch
25)you got it bad
dearest andrew please remember to play these songs next fri.
we're gonna rock the dance floor.

2006-05-02T23:12:00.000+08:00

HOME (Michael Buble)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

2006-05-01T21:57:00.000+08:00
we went to the

ZOO

yes the zoo!

i observed the general trend that animals in the zoo are really lazy.they don't try to greet us or impress us when we were snapping them.they don't come around and sniff you or something.they were all busy eating and eating and eating still.that's what they do best.zebras don't bother moving their butts,kangaroo don't bother to hop around and ponies don't yearn for any touch.

pretty white tigers

wild boar

ostrich

busy eating kangaroo

the bathing sun bear

question of the day
do you consider enclosing animals in the zoo as a form of animal abuse?

2006-04-27T21:57:00.000+08:00
zouk is still strong after 15 golden years.
it won't go wrong on a ladies' night or fri phuture night.
it was stunning last night and the best part-i got myself a privilege card but i think i forgot to write down my full address in the form.damn.pray hard i did or they will call me up.

2006-04-23T22:38:00.000+08:00
don't think this little jayden looks harmless in his tub.

later that day i saw him creeping into my room in his walker.

and he sat on my bed and tortured the bear honey gave to me.

babies are a kind of lethal adoration.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

2006-04-22T22:19:00.000+08:00
honey and i went fish & co and had my favourite seafood platter and the smoothest beancurd at parklane.

the damn weather caused my head to keep throbbing.i ended up sleeping after taking two panadols.
but it's always amazing to have someone there to take care of you and buy you ben & jerry's cookie dough ice cream to pamper you on a bad head day.

2006-04-21T21:43:00.000+08:00

the last one standing became the offical member of the army on fri.
our class manager/our personal body guard/our big brother/our sky

sky,dee,phyllis,huiling,myself and honey met up on thurs for supper before sky's departure on fri.

hostel is the must-watch-r21 show of the year.
it's something like a consipracy to satisfy the psychotic killing pleasures of the higher class society.they hire babes to lure people into the hostel which is a sham.it's known as the elite hunting club where they pay like 50 grand(us dollars) to kill people in the torture chamber with all sorts of instruments provided.there are quite a number of nude scenes during the first half of the show but not much erotic sex or stuff.the highlight is the second half with all the disgusting and stomach churning scenes.highly recommended.

2006-04-16T22:06:00.000+08:00
when one asks "are you okay?" or "are you unhappy?"
i will say i'm not unhappy.very typical.
i'm not unhappy but i'm just not happy.
sometimes i'm always easily affected by first reaction of people.somehow in the back of my mind i reckon that first reaction tells a lot and probably even the truth that i can't handle.i hope it's just my problem.
we will not go down that path of destruction hand in hand.
it's fearful to embrace the thought of having and eventually losing.
hail for the frail anatomy of worldlings.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

2006-04-15T23:02:00.000+08:00
i came across this somewhere sometime ago and i like it.

imagination is a bitter collapse of colours and silence.

i don't know when can i ever learn to smile like them again.

alright so much for my random and far from sanity thoughts.

2006-04-14T22:53:00.000+08:00

we watched the sneaks of boy eats girl.the level of mindlessness is out of this world.anyway it's just what you would do after a week's work.pay nine fifty,sit down and enjoy the air con environment,avoid the crowd in town on a public holiday,laugh your heads off,exit the theatre without an apparent increase in brain capacity for knowledge and self-improvement.

2006-04-13T12:45:00.000+08:00

momo on sat + house music + ah pek crowd + ugly dancers = horror

the economical rice is not economical at all when my combination costs four bloody dollars.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

2006-04-07T12:00:00.000+08:00

sigh.i'm on survivor.i hope i'm gonna make it through sunday.

i need a job badly!please,if you have a decent temp job which is reasonably paid,email me at chanlayhwee@hotmail.com alright.

2006-04-06T18:53:00.000+08:00

happy anniversary.
i wonder how am i gonna drift along the freaking long weekend without honey.
i'm so gonna rock the dance floor and exhaust myself on sat night so that i can just get over the enforced four days absence faster.
what day is it?and in what month?the clock never seemed so alive.i can't keep up and i can't back down.

what's with man and ego?even my twelve year old tution kid who isn't very much into puberty yet refuses to use the method i taught him to approach the sum.he insisted on finding a solution on his own cos if not,it means he is stupid or lousy.

2006-04-05T12:52:00.000+08:00

honey and i are supposed to whip up a good pasta meal.
i want fusili.
honey + i = kitchen-blowing duo

2006-04-02T18:33:00.000+08:00

at last dee and i actually went to sentosa to let our hair down.damn relaxing.

thank goodness it was the warm morning sun.

her uncanny ability.

no more jap porn.i'm gonna nc-16 her the next time.

though there was nobody at the beach when we arrived,i must say we enjoyed ourselves.

off to town in the afternoon.yipee!

i met honey for movie and dinner after that.ultraviolet is a damn bloody boring and lousy show.they dismissed the bad plot and setting with this annoying line that goes 'i'm born in a world you might not understand.'please do not i repeat do not watch it.we wanted to have the belgium style of 'a pot of mussels' at oosters but they told us they ran out of mussels cos they had only 2kg of them that day.it really doesn't make sense like totally since each order must be at least 500g or 1kg.sorry but to hell with it.i'm a woman to be reckoned with.the only good thing was the two marvellous vintage steals from the flea market.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

2006-03-30T12:48:00.000+08:00

i wanna watch ballet under the stars this year.
i wanna have my own whole collection of bebe.
i wanna have royal membership to zouk and momo.

2006-03-28T20:18:00.000+08:00

Kindness

Kindness is most important in a boyfriend/girlfriend. You want someone who will go through everything with you - the best moments and the worst, and all of those other moments in between. You love to be able to say anything to your partner, and have them say anything to you. You are able to be extremely close with your partner for that reason.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

this is what the movie of my life will be called.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

2006-03-27T21:14:00.000+08:00

Carrie(sex and the city): Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

2006-03-26T22:00:00.000+08:00

the hills have eyes is another bloody show.a family of seven was driving down to california for a vacation to celebrate their parents' anniversary.they chose to be adventurous and took the road in some god-knows-where desert area.years ago,the us government actually attempted to evict the miners and their families who settled there so as to set up a test village in that area for experimental purposes concerning nuclear weapons and stuff.the miners were very displeased and refused to go so they resorted to moving into the mines.due to excessive exposure to radioactive stuff,the miners' children became blood-thirsty mutants who haunted that area for human organs and body parts that are as fresh as sweet summer peaches.so the story goes on,family members captured,violated,tortured and killed in various horrible ways.the survivors tried to fight their way back against those freaks.kinda interesting cos it keeps you going with all those disgusting scenes.one thing i can't stand-the countless freaky dummies in the test village.they give me creeps and not to mention nightmares.

hey honey it's time we watch something with more happy ever afters according to the prevailing mainstream morality.(i know i was the one who chose the show but it's pretty nice anyway.)

2006-03-25T20:46:00.000+08:00

rice & tears.

Canonball-Damien Rice
Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little bit of your face i haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
Still i can't say what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball
Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words i long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that i can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy 'cause it's not hard to fall
And i don't wanna scare her
It's not hard to fall
And i don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know..

2006-03-24T22:34:00.000+08:00

you say we groove too much.
you say we drink excessively.
you say we hang out too late.

i say you're disgustingly judgemental.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

2006-03-23T19:52:00.000+08:00

best pic of the month.
entitled : it feels like ben & jerry
photographer: dee the cookie guru
producer : cupid

2006-03-22T20:51:00.000+08:00

16 mar boiling point party at dxo organised by sally.

there were a lot more people but we were kinda self-obsessed.

countless misfortunes happened that night.
the only good thing was i got free dxo membership out of the blue.

2006-03-20T22:58:00.000+08:00

the last thing i wanna do is to vindicate my ideals.

maybe it was all pre-planned the moment we stepped into our phuture.

2006-03-19T21:11:00.000+08:00

cookiemania.

chocolate chip affair.

i'm cookie junior.

d the cookie guru.i know the picture don't do your face justice but it's alright since you've so many nice pictures on my blog.

final product at twelve midnight.

lin hui's birthday dinner by the bay at esplanade.

lower class conspiracy between two stupid girls.fancy screwing up my oh-so-demure picture.

our uncanny ability.

wolf creek and final destination 3 are two gross-you-out movies operating at different levels of sickness.final destination is like more of a dramatic way of portraying everything has its time and you can't run away from your destiny.you'll suffer something ten times more disgusting if you think you're smart enough to escape your death cos anything that can go wrong will go wrong to make sure you die horribly.though wolf creek has less head smashing and burn you alive scenes,it is more effective in sending a chill down my back maybe cos it's based on a true account.you really don't know how psychotic fellow earthlings can get.you never know when you're being followed.isn't it a wonder what can happen when you're missing and nobody realises that you're actually missing.

i abandoned my watch and spent nearly two hundred grand dollars on my vintage ring with beautiful aquamarine stones(they apparently flew over from england).i love that one and only ring.i wanna get that my hands on that vintage bracelet soon.

i just came back from a very fulfilling meal at prima flower revolving tower restaurant with my whole family.it makes me kinda giddy but all the scallop and peking duck made the trip worthwhile.

2006-03-18T22:38:00.000+08:00

it's amazing to witness love in the making.

(the courtesy of my sister and brother-in-law)

it's a wonder how she changed from a pampered daughter to a baby producing factory no i mean domesticated motherly working office lady cos of this little imp and all in the name of love.

2006-03-09T22:20:00.000+08:00

sorry i left without a word.i won't be attending church for the time being.
i can't deny the existence of a higher form of being but i really really need time to contemplate my faith.please don't push me.i don't know your desperation.neither do you know mine.after these four years,i realised i can't comprehend why i need to suffer so much brokenness to sing of His greatness.i'll come back when i come back.
i really miss bird,pinky,mj,moo and e389 but i need space and moment.

2006-03-02T15:40:00.000+08:00

a tribute to those who love me and those i love.things didn't exactly turn out the way i want them to as usual but i'm not devastated.just fatigue.i just need a moment alone to seek a conclusion out of all the confusion.

from-the-most-bottom-of-my-heart thanks to that someone who walked here and there and everywhere with me.

2006-02-27T21:09:00.000+08:00

what a weekend.

no rendezvous.it's pimp n ho costume party on fri.we ain't exactly dressed up.
drinking screwdriver from plastic cups and wine from wine bottle.we've tried it all.
who cares?we still love our grooves.

saturday was hanging out and dress down day.

who do we seek solace in?

candy empire makes heaven a place on earth.

she is loving it.my wicked wonka bars.love them,hate them,can't live without them.

i bought this as-big-as-your-head lollipop for a running nose patient.you better be good and do according to miss tiff's bidding.
after which,we went to chill out at wala wala.sex on the beach,mussels and chicken wings.finger licking good.

and then it's a small small world.we saw the pj ruggers.we joined them.

and heineken is going at freaking one-for-one.

cheersss.we ain't gonna live forever.

i'm gonna get my 19th century inspired french evening watch from metropolitan museum of art somewhere in march.it's not just a timepiece.it's art.like literally.did i mention that i'm still going so gaga over those vintage stuff?

i don't wish to acquiesce but i'm not ready for any form of confrontation.
God bless this broken road.

2006-02-23T12:58:00.000+08:00

dear mr. R,if you're gonna continue feeding little laylay with ice cream every week at bukit panjang after 10pm,she is not gonna remain little.i still prefer ben and jerry you know.anyway i like you in specs.

people say beautiful moments are not here to stay.
somehow when you feel like you're on top of the world,horror of the past is back to haunt you.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

2006-02-20T12:55:00.000+08:00

friday was girls' funk out.

hot.
sexy.
dirty.

i hate work.i need more sleep.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

2006-02-16T19:57:00.000+08:00

matchpoint is a highly disturbing movie with a very clever ending.dear Mr R,it's not really a tennis show you know.if you are in for love,sex,lust,betrayal,revenge,fertiliy and scheming stuff,this show is for you.

my bestie buddy for years has left for nanjing on tues morning.he will be back only in months to come.i bought him a pair of doraemon slippers that will come in footy over there.i'm gonna miss him.he gave me a 13-
digit number as his handphone contact.i so needed that.

before he left,we met up and indulged ourselves in a sinful act of mischief.may i present to you the legendary chocolate fondue of haagen daz.

and i had steamboat when i went home later that day.goodness.

happy valentine's to me.
what more can you ask for when you're lying on the grass,watching the breath-taking stars in the sky,watching the city pass by you just like that,falling asleep in the moonlight with wind strong enough to blow your mind away and having the most beautiful flowers and company by your side?

it don't have to get too complicated.that's life.

2006-02-08T20:49:00.000+08:00

Carrie (sex and the city) : When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun, then you grow up and learn to be cautious; you could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

where is my mr big?

2006-02-07T16:55:00.000+08:00

i guess my tution kid is rather traumatised after doing the math homework i set for him.as a math distinction student,he goes on ranting about how he had a hard time and managed to complete only three out of ten sums.all to the courtesy of Mr. R who sweet-talked me into buying that lethal raffles tough maths assessment book to murder my kid.

i was shopping in town with dd on sun.
after dinner at kfc,she was still starving for dessert so she decided to have him.

anyway don't ask me why we look seemingly delighted.

i think we suffer from severe nervous breakdown cos we mugged too hard during a's.

we talked so much especially those painful stuff.
sometimes you bleed just to know you're alive.
trust me sweets,happy days are not too far ahead of us.

i feel somewhat tired thinking about thinking.

2006-02-06T21:26:00.000+08:00

let me tell you the chronicles of Mr. R.

please do not be taken in by his young punky impish college boy look.he is actually a fine young man of hmm some age.he is the most amazing person to bring to the movies.he can finish one tub of highly salted popcorn within the first 30 minutes of the show(all by himself).he can spill coke on such a stunning girl like me.anyway he has this innocently cute face so it's kinda highly unlikely i'll give him a tight slap across the face (so far).he likes to talk to me on the law of averages,the hormonal changes of men and women,theories concerning peanut issues in life and the magical wonders of serendipity.beneath that flamboyant facade lies a deep,sincere and intellectual young man who never fails to sensationalize every conversation shared.enough of ego-exploding business,i just wanna thank him for the smashing nights and i've gathered enough evidences to suspect that he possesses the ability to drug your wine so that you will sleep extremely soundly after drinking with him.anyway you've been spectacular.

note : the bear is still on my bed.so far so good.
the brown bear and the giant pink ribbon.

i think i should show another proper picture of him taken from his friendster with his consent.

2006-02-06T21:07:00.000+08:00

we went mass visitation during cny.

notice the fact that chinying is actually wearing a tube.*applause*

this shot has no apparent intention to evoke anything or cause any uproar.we were just sitting down and hugging each other.not on bed or anything close.the fabric behind is the curtain.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

2006-02-06T20:06:00.000+08:00

let me tell you a tale on chinablack.

sky urged us to go for this party which was organised by his friend's girlfriend and apparently his friend will be the guest dj of the night.drinks were going at 3 bucks per glass and 10 per jug.sounds fairly attractive so we paid 16 bucks each looking forward to something funky.

so the story goes like this.seven young punks full of faith arrived at chinablack but bad things always happen to good people as usual.i thought i was at the night safari judging from the golden monkies dancing around me in the club.there were also a considerable number of asylum escapees in caps hmm i mean army guys who can't get enough of their camp and cheers on a at-last-can-book-out-friday night.the drinks were lousy.the club had this smelly incense smell.they don't allow guest dj on fridays.they played songs like ymca with extremely atrocious transition.apparently this is not first time i encountered such a misfortune at chinablack.the club was barely 20% full the last time i came on a friday night.m yong and adrain actually fell asleep on the chairs and sky who instigated us went home after two hours.

look at their badly tormented faces.we were hanging at mac cafe at 3am in the morning and they actually play nicer songs compared to chinablack.

so dd is gonna sum up this whole chinablack story for you.short and sweet.